Where Did My Daughter Learn That?

My daughter Kate is almost 21 months old. She is normally a well behaved kid. She doesn’t get in trouble all that often. She rarely gets really mad or upset. But when she does get mad, watch out. She can throw a tantrum like she’s getting paid to. Sometimes when she gets really mad and my wife or I try to talk to her something strange happens.

Kate will hit us.

I say that this is strange because, to my knowledge, she has never seen someone hit someone else. We have never spanked her or even slapped her on her wrist. I don’t hit my wife and my wife doesn’t hit me. We don’t watch movies or television shows in front of her. Maybe another child has hit her at church or the park or something, but at the very least this is not a common occurrence.

The question becomes, “Where did my daughter learn this?”

How does a less than two year old child determine that striking someone else is an appropriate response to not getting her way?

Is there something inside us that tells us that the appropriate response to opposition is to lash out?

Maybe it is natural to attempt to control others by way of force. That certainly seems to be the way that most of the world functions. Maybe this is why it seems so strange when we hear Jesus talk about turning the other cheek and loving your enemies. These things do not come naturally to us.

I’m not really sure why my daughter thinks that hitting someone is a good idea. We are working on teaching her that it is wrong to do this. But I have a feeling that this task will become much more difficult as she grows up and the world continues to tell her that violence is a normal response.

This is something that I have been thinking about for the past few days. I would love to hear any thoughts you might have on this subject.

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